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Sometimes the most honoring response is to diplomatically but firmly say, “No.” Letting in-laws split, manipulate, or control you by silently acceding to their nutty, neurotic, inappropriate demands isn’t necessarily showing Christian love.

It doesn’t entail “obeying” all their “parental” requests or requirements-which, in some instances with some in-laws, may get pretty crazy.

It doesn’t mean you must permit them to disrespect, control, or manipulate you for their own selfish ends.

It doesn’t require that you submerge all your own feelings, desires, preferences, and needs in the service of “doing things their way.”.

What are those limits? Here are three things that “honoring” your in-laws does not mean: You need to recognize and respect those-within limits. When you married, you also became part of another family with its own set of expectations. Enjoying the family event is possible, even if you follow it with a reminder to the children about the real meaning of the holiday. For instance, you might choose to adopt their tradition of having an Easter egg hunt, despite the fact that you don’t want your kids to think the Easter bunny is real. You may not even like them, but you need to choose to act in a loving manner toward them. “Honoring” one’s parents (Exodus 20:12) does require showing them patience, kindness, gentleness, and respect. In concert with your mate, set reasonable boundaries ask that he or she firmly and kindly insist that your in-laws respect these limits. If you feel your in-laws are intruding into your married life, the old saying, “Good fences make good neighbors,” may apply. You, meanwhile, have obligations to in-laws and spouse-and children, if you have any. If you have disagreements with your in-laws, your spouse may feel caught in the middle between parents and you.

They’re connected to your spouse through genetics, history, and complex psychological dynamics. The problem is that they’re not just anyone. This doesn’t ignore the reality that if your in-laws are “difficult” people, are controlling and manipulative, are emotionally or mentally dysfunctional, or don’t share your faith, this may be a particularly hard challenge.

The first principle that applies here is that, if you’re a Christian, you owe your in-laws behavior that’s consistently Christian in character-as you do anyone else. Perhaps you feel caught between trying to please them (or trying to avoid offending them) on the one hand, and just wanting to be yourself or wanting your own “space” on the other. It sounds more like your in-laws are a burden in your life. Put this way, it doesn’t sound like a very warm or relaxed relationship. Another way to phrase it might be, “As a son-in-law or daughter-in-law, what’s required of me? What are my obligations, whether I feel like it or not, in relating to my spouse’s parents?”

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Sony Movie Studio Platinum 12.0.What do I owe my in-laws? That’s an interesting question.

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